One thing I have suffered from for most of my life are weight issues, during school I was a big boy and once I left my weight plummeted, I’m pretty sure this was down to the bullying (see forthcoming blog post for more info) I received when I was there, I ate as a form of comfort, and I guess that I’ve always kept those coping mechanisms through to today, when I’m stressed or threatened the first thing I’ll do is start raiding the cupboards even when I know I’m not hungry (Sad really, eh?). I always say to myself mentally that I’ll start eating healthy and exercising tomorrow and 4 times out of 5 this doesn’t happen.

I was recently very stressed out with work related things and my eating and exercise habits have deteriorated with this. Although things at work have now sorted themselves out, I’m left with the weight I’ve put on due to the stress, I’m not blaming it all on work though, weight loss is down to will power and wanting to reach that target weight through healthy eating and exercising regularly, and I’ve not been doing this.

As of Thursday I started cycling to and from work again, something I did last year and dropped a lot of weight, I was also eating a vegan diet which I think was also a benefit to the weight loss I had, but not the main factor.

August 2009 - After Weight Loss

February 2010 - After Weight Gain

I think one of the things that I find difficult when losing weight is the waiting, I guess I want instant results and that ISN’T going to happen, I need to look into long term lifestyle changes, substituting comfort eating for exercise, when I started running back in April 2009 I used to run my rage away and it helped, I came back from my run feeling so much better (if a little sweaty), I also find logging everything I do (eating and exercise) as very beneficial as I get to see how I’m doing as a trend, seeing a downwards sloping chart is such a nice feeling, but it also allows me to see that my weight has been yo-yo-ing for a while now and I think it’s time I changed the habit of a lifetime and face up to a different way of living, eat well, exercise regularly and smile!

So, how much do I weigh? I’m actually afraid to say, I’m fixated with my body image and I’m so completely self concious of how I look that I can’t even bring myself to type it, I guess I’m afraid of bullying, however stupid that sounds, I think that people would judge me for letting myself get fat, and some people might do, however shallow, I don’t think that I could face that at the moment, but I’m also aware that sharing everything with my fans is something I want to do – I’m having a dilemma and a half here! One thing I will do is take a picture of everything I eat everyday, and make a visual food blog so I can see exactly what I’m putting in my body.

I am sharing my weight loss journey somewhere though – just not here (for now). Does anyone else have issues with their weight? Do you comfort eat? I’m really interested in hearing about other people view the world of weight.

Feel free to comment or email and I will respond as soon as I can (usually on the day)